used to be a part of this s***

Iphone notes May 5th 2013. 

I am floating around in the dark and my soul is nowhere to be found.

I have lost my anchor.

I have lost my hope.

I am in a nomansland where nothing exists. still, one could argue emotions are not available here but oh, how they are stronger than ever. they come and go as they please, leaving miserable, broken traces everywhere. 
They come like a shining rocket sent from the us army ricocheting onto every fragile peace of the human body and finally they explode in the centrepiece of what once used to be a functioning heart, causing greater damage than one could imagine, 
and just like that, 
they disappear again. 

leaving clouds of emptiness,
pieces of something that used to be whole,
are now molecules in the sky.